Why I'll never be a professional cyclist

Besides the whole not blessed with top tier endurance sport genes, lack of tunnel-visioned drive and focus on being a professional cyclist, lack of time to dedicate 4-7 hours a day to riding...

These are the other, more important & pertinent reasons why I'll never be a professional cyclist:

1. 4cm of handlebar spacers. I'm working on getting it down because this is decidedly not pro.

Cancellara is slightly more "pro" in this respect: http://www.cyclingnews.com/road/2007/tour07/tech/probike.php?id=/photos/2007/tech/probikes/tour_cancellara_csc_cervelo/Fabian_Cancellaras_Team_CSC_Cervelo_SLC-SL_anatomic_bar


2. Once you wear #594 in a charity ride, you're not allowed to go pro. A weird rule, but a rule nonetheless.


3. Who ever heard of a Greek professional cyclist?


4. These little bird legs can hardly walk me to my car let alone power me up a hill or a sprint to the town limit sign.


Yikes, this last shot is probably one of the most unflattering shots I've seen, but hey, that's what you get for being a recreational cyclist, and not a pro. Pay no attention to the 1.5 lb weights under the dresser, that's the limit of what I can press and curl.